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sandee hull

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SIGH !! [May. 21st, 2005|10:11 pm]
sandee hull
i feel so alone, gonna end up a big ole pile of them bones !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


hugs would be great.......


thanks
sandee
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Well i want to officially make a plea for anyone who has a troubled teen to HELP ME ! ! ! ! [May. 15th, 2005|10:34 pm]
sandee hull
[mood |cynicalcynical]

i need help....my 17 yr old son is in crisis, and i need help dealing with it, he sneaks out, steals, taunts women at gas stations, gets in trouble with cops, steals bikes, smokes cigs and doesnt much care that he has broken my heart into a thousand pieces....i mean i used to give him the benefit of the doubt and try to find the good in him, but he has made my cynical, (sp) and i dont know wot to do, i fear sleeping, i fear leaving him alone, i fear taking him into stores, i just fear everything, and i deal with and eating disorder called anorexia, that just lives and is living for this to come into my life so it can bash me, and call me on the carpet, cuz i feel it taking over little by little.....im just in shock that my son, can be capable of doing this and its hurting me to no end......HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


comments needed badly...so help......anyone

thanks

sandee
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cant take it anymore....... [May. 10th, 2005|10:22 pm]
sandee hull
Cant Take It ...... Just cant

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i seriously hate weekends, and 4:29 on any given weekday, see, my son who is 17 has been causing alot of trouble, by lying...stealing....smoking......and god nos what else and everyday he causes more trouble, he has made the dark voices i used to control go totally out of control, by screaming "see i told you" and "your not a good mom" and the ulitmate "you suck, and arent worthy" all come back out of a place ive managed to lock away behind a wall, and just cant take anymore......the voices in my head, not out of his mouth

this weekend my boyfriend (who has remained strong) hit him, and at the time i thought bad, but thinking deep about it, i know it needed to happen, but to no avail, on mothers day no less, he (my son) not only smoked in my face, but stole and lied....breaks my heart into a million pieces......i just hurt sooooo bad right now, that i am thinking of doing harm to me, seeing as he dont care one bit about how much he hurts me, but i cant do that, cuz my other child needs me and would be heartbroken herself if i did, not to mention, i dont want ppl to not forgive me.....but i just cant take it anymore.....i hurt sooo bad....it hurts soooooo bad....see, i love my son to no end, i just wish he would see it.........

well ... comments would be great.....

thanks for reading this

sandee




I WANNA FEEL LIKE IM SOMEWHERE I BELONG.....LINKIN PARK....AWESOME BAND!
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hello all [Feb. 15th, 2005|06:41 pm]
sandee hull
[mood |cynicalcynical]

hmmm....life sure is intersting......never ceases to amaze me.....just when i think things smooth out....bump goes the road.....

write more later
take care
sandee
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how do i ???? [Sep. 21st, 2004|07:53 pm]
sandee hull
How do i change my mood....i forgot how.....plz anyone....assistance would be good

thanks a ton

sandee
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who the fuck and what the fuck ! ! [Sep. 19th, 2004|10:23 pm]
sandee hull
OK...homecoming is coming up and my daughter found the most awesome dress, i mean this thing was made for her....its soooo beautiful, so right she calls her dad and it seems him and the new step monster are having world war 17 million, and they both treated her like royal shit, saying that if she wants the dress i am going to have to get off my dead beat ass and buy it for her....i mean like what the fuck is he doing, he knows im am sole person of my finances and i have others to take care of besides me.....and he said i have to pay the whole shot.....he is a fucking loser and i hope he dies....so my poor dd sits and cries and i cant take her pain away....i feel horrible, feel like a bad mom and a shit person, so i cut and cut bad tonight cuz of the pain ... i cant take it out on anyone, so i take it out on me....seems fitting....but i am bound and determined to get this dress for her if i have to go totally broke doing it....the fucker....GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i hate him soooo much right now and always.....he is soo useless....

nuff now...comment if you wish

Love ya all

Sandee
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SIGH ! ! ! [Sep. 17th, 2004|09:54 pm]
sandee hull
its been a looooong ass time since i wrote in this...so here it goes....ED still kicks and rules my ass, and i cut as well, so that rules me too.....kids are great....growing so fast....pains me to see them grow...having a hard time watching it....

life sucks....

write more later....comments if needed

L.....

Sandee
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Hey all !!! Update on ME ! [Jan. 20th, 2004|11:33 pm]
sandee hull
OK...well its been interesting...got my old job back at the furniture store...and get this...now i am working full time between the store and our main warehouse....so i am gone all day nearly...and the hours are nice too....Kids...well they are getting taller and older...son is 16 now and daughter is turning 15 in April...awe. they grow so quick...and my ed, well its been on the silent end of the tracks for a bit....but i can feel its getting restless again...

just a little update

love ya all

sandee
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Checking in ! [Jun. 30th, 2003|09:47 am]
sandee hull
Its been awhile since ive been here, trying to cling to wanting to live, things have gotten bad, and im still without a job, damn damn damn, sick of things, xhubbies shit, just not sure of what more to do, tired of grinning and bearing things. HELP ! ! ! !! ! ! ! !

btw, if you go to picturetrail.com and look for sanzo_1, thats my new pictrail. please sign the guestbook to let me know you have been there, i would appreciate that.

check in with me, i need support now more than ever

love

sandee
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Well, still no job [Apr. 22nd, 2003|03:32 pm]
sandee hull
Im so frustrated and pissed off, i really wanted that job at the dealership, still cant believe that i dont have it, damn it.

I just need a job, this program the state has me in sucks royal shit, and im sick to death of going to it.

take care all, so much more to bitch and moan about, but oh well

love you all

sandee
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